ADHD & Focus

Why Can’t I Just Focus? The ADHD Struggle We Need To Talk About!

Have you ever sat down to work, fully intending to be productive, only to find yourself scrolling social media, reorganizing your desk or staring off into space? You know what you need to do, but actually doing it feels impossible. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone – and you are definitely not lazy.

For women living with ADHD later in life, these focus struggles can feel confusing and frustrating. After all, you’ve made it this far, often using sheer willpower and coping mechanisms to get by. But now that you know your brain works differently, it’s time to understand why focus feels so elusive – and what you can do about it.

The Reality of ADHD & Focus Struggles

The common misconception is that ADHD is just about being easily distracted. In reality, it’s a complex mechanism involving executive functioning which impacted planning, organization, time management and yes – focus.

So why does it sometimes feel easy to hyperfocus on things you enjoy but nearly impossible to concentrate on important tasks? It comes down to dopamine, the neurotransmitter responsible for motivation and reward. ADHD brains struggle to regulate dopamine, making boring or overwhelming tasks feel unbearable while exciting ones (like a new hobby, TV show or deep-dive research session) feels effortless.  

This is why no amount of “just try harder” works. ADHD is not a willpower issue – it’s a neurological one.

Common but Overlooked ADHD Focus Struggles

1.     Time Blindness: The I’ll Do It Later” Trap

Do you frequently underestimate how long a task will take – or feel like time disappears the moment you start something? Time blindness makes it hard to grasp the passage of time, leading to last minute scrambles or missed deadlines.

Tip: Use visual times or alarms to keep track of time, and set reminders before you need them (not when it’s already too late).

2.     Task Switching Exhaustion: Losing Track of What You Were Doing

Ever start working on an email, then get distracted by another task, only to realize hours later you never finished the original email? ADHD brains struggle with tasks switching, making it easy to lose track of what you were doing.

Tip: Use a “bookmarking system” – writing a quick note about what you were doing before switching tasks can help you pick up where you left off.

3. Rejection Sensitivity & Perfectionism: The Focus Killer

ADHD brains often experience Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) – an intense fear of criticism or failure. If you’re worried about making mistakes, you might avoid starting a task altogether, leading to procrastination disguised as perfectionism.

Tip: Shift your mindset to “done is better than perfect” and use self-imposed deadlines to prevent overthinking.                      

4. Emotional Regulation & Focus: How Stress Makes It Worse

If you’re anxious, overwhelmed, or dealing with emotional stress, your ability to focus plummets. That’s because ADHD affects emotional regulation, making it harder to switch from an anxious or distracted state into a productive one.

Tip: Before forcing yourself to work, regulate your nervous system – try deep breathing, a five-minute walk, or a sensory reset like stretching or listening to music.  

Actionable Tips to Work with Your Brain, Not Against It

• Body Doubling – Having someone nearby (virtually or in person) can keep you accountable.

• Timers & External Reminders – Making time visible helps you stay on track.

• Interest-Based Task Structuring – If a task is boring, try making it engaging (e.g., turn it into a challenge, use a reward system, or pair with something fun).

• Give Yourself Permission to Rest – Pushing through burnout only makes focus worse. Learning to take breaks guilt-free can increase productivity in the long run.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve ever wondered, Why can’t I just focus?, the answer isn’t that you’re lazy or undisciplined. Your brain is wired differently, and once you understand how to work with it instead of against it, focus becomes much easier to manage.

Struggling to Stay Focused? Therapy Can Help!

If focusing feels like a constant battle, you’re not alone – and you don’t have to figure it out all by yourself. ADHD isn’t just about distractions; it’s about learning how your brain works and finding strategies that truly fit your life. As a therapist specializing in ADHD for late-diagnosed women, I help clients build personalized tools to improve focus, reduce overwhelm, and feel more centered in your life. If you’re ready to explore strategies tailored to your brain, let’s work together! Book a free 15-minute consultation call on my website – I’d love to support you.